I guess sometimes we get bored of standing outside of the Misrad Hamishpatim demonstrating on behalf of agunot, especially when the Rabbis don’t seem to notice. Recently some fashion designers in Tel Aviv made a visual statement in support of agunot, designing dresses that embody the individual pain experienced by agunot.
Mavoi Satum has also experimented with some guerilla theatre- how can one forget the grotesque effigy of a chained bride that hung above their conference in February 2006 and the photo below taken at a protest held in March 2006, which did manage to ascertain a get for one woman, who was married to a son of a Rabbinic judge.
But do these creative shows make a difference on the large scale? The Rabbanut doesn’t seem to hang out at guerrilla protests nor are they sitting next to the Tel Aviv catwalk. Education is very important, don’t get me wrong. But what strategy will really make the Rabbanut notice, what campaign will make them hurt or actually manage to embarrass them into doing what’s right?
The world of Talmud though sometimes arcane and distant (especially the Aramaic parts) is actually a lot closer to home than you might think. That’s why I’m so interested in it after all.
For example yesterdays daf speaks to the issue of making a commitment to a marriage or any project and accepting it with the joy of adventure versus starting a new venture with the fear that you will wake up the next morning regretting it.
As a teacher of mine, Rav Daniel Epstein, said today, his daughter complained on the first day of elementary school, “you didn’t tell me it would be like this.” Many forces foreign to ourselves impact us daily and shake our sense of control and ability to anticipate change. I definitely felt overwhelmed yesterday, the first day back at school, by the foreign forces dictating my schedule. A bit of independence that I had become accustomed to over the summer was snatched away. The cycle of the Daf Yomi determines what I will learn as well as the teachers- all out of the locus of my control. But I chose to be here and arcane or not will find myself even in the Daf Yomi, as the pages assert themselves upon me.
Anyway if my Hebrew and Aramaic is confusing you here is a link to a Talmud introduction. Or feel free to ask.
On the opening daf of Ketuvot, (todays daf yomi) the Mishna announces that virgins marry on Wednesday and widows remarry on Thursday.
Why? The Mishna explains: if a man, after sleeping with his new wife, finds that she is not a virgin, he is supposed jump out of bed the next morning and run to the local beit din - open only Mondays and Thursdays (and between 9:00 and 11:00 like some offices I know here in Jerusalem). Perhaps he wants his money back- this was not the pure innocent virgin he bargained for. Maybe he wants an immediate divorce from his surprisingly experienced mate. Rashi warns that if he doesn’t wake up Thursday morning, directly after his discovery and rush to the court in the heat of his anger, he might decide he actually likes her and doesn’t care that she wasn’t a virgin (maybe he even enjoyed it). Hence the Wednesday wedding.
But the Gemarah gives an opposing explanation for why “the women” convinced the Rabbis to require a Wednesday or Thursday wedding. A virgin woman is married on a Wednesday so that her husband will have enough time to prepare the stately feast for the wedding day itself – no excuse to skimp. The widow remarries on a Thursday so her new lover won’t be tempted to go back to work, rather he will take Friday off and luxuriate at home, as a newlywed should, for a long weekend.
The Gemrah’s explanations of wedding preparations and honeymoon weekends (quoted as the voice of women!) speak to me more than the Mishna. Weddings should be sensuous beautiful moments that celebrate the love and companionship that can follow. The Mishna’s darker reasoning of preserving the ability to run to the beit din, reveals doubt at the lasting quality of marriage, especially pessimistic about the reliability of women to be true, and begins imagining divorce even before the ceremony begins- so much for marriage counseling.
Last Wednesday I attended a demonstration outside of the Misrad Hamishpatim, the Ministry of Justice. Inside they were appointing yet more Charedi (ultra Orthodox) judges to sit on the Rabbinic Court. The court serves all segments of the population of Israel (Modern Orthodox to Chiloni or secular) except surprisingly the Charedi community itself, on issues of marriage and divorce. The judges are political appointments, often chosen not for their knowledge, ability, or empathy but to pay back favors and soothe political relationships.
Unfortunately the mood was calm, almost chatty. The groups assembled (Icar, Mavoi Satum, and Neemani Torah V'Avodah) who are concerned with helping the cause of agunot, seemed to know that the decision was already sewn up, despite the 20-some who had shown to protest.
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/898255.html
Tomorrow another year of learning starts at Matan. This year: Masechet Ketuboth. If you are interested in feminism, Talmud, literature, marriage or learning I hope you'll join me here.
